The Tooth Fairy pays me a visit.


I was 6 when I found out that the tooth fairy was my Dad.
It was right before I started 1st grade. My mother was sick with a very bad flu. So Dad, not trusting Steve anymore to watch us, had his brother Tim babysit us ,while he was at work. Tim wasn't too much older then Steve (maybe 18 or so) and we all got along well with him. He was fun but firm. Once while babysitting my cousin Brad, he told him that if he didn't calm down he was going to tie Brad to the front tree until his parents came home. Brad didn't believe him. When my Uncle Ray pulled into the driveway a while later ,Tim was sitting on a lawn chair reading a comic book, and Brad was tied and gagged to the tree. After we heard this story we made sure to mind Tim at all times.
It was easy to mind Tim however. He was so fun. We'd all go outside and rough house, and he would let us eat the worst possible foods. No other babysitter would ever let me have COUNT CHOCULA for supper. So when Tim would tell us to calm down and be quite , we all did it gladly, not because we were afraid of him , but because we really liked him.
So the day he babysat us when Mom was sick was no exception. We all played outside so Mom could rest . At noon we came in to eat. Cereal, pop tarts ,and Pepsi for everyone. A little later Dark Shadows (A weird but popular soap opera) came on and we all sat quietly in the living room while Tim watched it. While it was on it started raining a little outside. When it was over Tim had all my brothers and sister play Monopoly.
Since I didn't know how to play Monopoly ,Tim played with me. He was playing some game where he'd have me stand on his steel toed boots , while he sat in Dad's chair. Then he'd pull the lever for the foot rest and launch me in the air. I laughed loudly and we'd do it again and again. Everybody was having a happy fun filled day.
Until I slipped on Tim's boots.
Tim had just pulled the foot rest. As his feet raised up , I lost my balance and fell. Tim's foot caught me right in the mouth. It didn't knock me out but left me very dazed. I landed hard on the floor. One of my front teeth landed next to me. He had given me a bloody nose and knocked out one of my teeth. I lay there for a microsecond then started screaming. My brothers and sister took one look at me and bolted out the back door. I ran up the stairs screaming for Mom , trailing blood the entire way.
As sick as Mom was she took one look at my bloody face, and ran down the stairs , to find out what happened. She was greeted to an empty house. Tim's car was squealing out of the driveway and my brothers and sister were doing their level best to look as if they'd been outside playing in the rain the entire time.
I was upstairs in the bathroom having my face cleaned up by Mom , when Dad came home and saw the blood on the rug and the stairs. My brothers and sister were playing Monopoly again in the living room. Dad looked over at them and said,"God Damn it! What did you people do to Tom this time?"
My brothers and sister loved Tim and liked him babysitting us. So naturally they sold him out . Each version of the story they told Dad , became worse and worse. Geno told Dad ,Tim had knocked out all my teeth. Rose said he did it on purpose. John was sure Tim was drunk the entire time. And they all told Dad that Tim wouldn't feed them ,and all they had to eat was cereal. Dad marched up the stairs and was very relieved to find out I was only missing one baby tooth.
I had calmed down by that point. When Mom had finished cleaning my face , I showed the tooth to Dad. "How much do you think the tooth fairy will leave me tonight ?"
Dad got a very serious look on his face. He now realized that Tim's little accident was going to cost him some money.
Dad looked at me and said,"Lets go find out"
He had Mom put my shoes on and took me out to the car. I asked Dad where we were going. "Grandma's", was his reply.
"I hope Tim's not mad at me,"I said. "He left real quick after I fell."
"Don't worry", Dad said. "I'll talk with him" Dad even smiled just a very little bit.
Dad took me in to his Mothers house. Grandma took one look at me and started making , "Oh you poor thing" type noises. She asked me if ice cream would make it feel any better. I nodded yes, and sat at the table. Soon I was eating chocolate ice cream. Dad asked Grandma where Tim was. She said he'd been hiding in the garage every since he came home.
Dad looked at me and said."You wait here." He opened the back door and went out to the garage.
I asked Grandma if she thought the tooth fairy was going to give me a lot of money since this was an accident and hurt more. Grandma sat down next to me and said, "I think you're old enough to know that there is no tooth fairy. Your parents leave you the money because you are so brave."
I was shocked. "My Dad's the tooth fairy?" , I asked.
"Well I certainly wouldn't call him that",Grandma said.
Just then there was a commotion in the back yard. Grandma and I looked out the kitchen window and saw my Dad (The Tooth Fairy) holding Tim up by his feet. Dad dropped him on his head. Tim crawled away a little and Dad picked him up by his feet again , shaking him a little this time. Again Dad dropped him. The third time Dad did this Tim said something I couldn't hear and Dad let him go. Tim reached into his pocket and pulled out his billfold. He gave Dad a 5 dollar bill. Dad walked away ,leaving Tim laying on the ground. Grandma and I sat back down at the table before Dad got back in the house.
Dad walked in the kitchen door. "I talked to Tim and he's just happy you're ok", Dad said. We stayed a few moments more and left.
On the way home Dad said,"Well I heard the tooth fairy is going to give you a dollar tonight."
I remembered the 5 dollars Tim gave Dad. "I thought the tooth fairy was going to give me 5 ?"
Dad glared at me. "The tooth fairy is giving you a dollar and you're going to like it."
I didn't like it one bit. " I think the tooth fairy can afford to give me a little more then a dollar."
Dad glared at me a little bit more. " OK $1.50 and a comic book. The tooth fairy can't afford anymore. The tooth fairy has expenses."
I wasn't real happy, but this sounded much more reasonable. I realized if I tried to push it anymore I could wind up with nothing for my tooth.Besides hearing my Dad refer to himself as the tooth fairy was just too weird. Before we got home Dad picked me up a spiderman comic book. The next morning I found 6 quarters under my bed.
All in all it was a rough day. Not only did I get a bloody nose and a knocked out tooth, but I found out the tooth fairy was my Dad. My Uncle Tim also had a rough day. He never babysat for us again.
The image of Dad holding Tim up by his feet still makes me laugh to this day.
So every now and then when my oldest son looses a tooth, I'll give him 6 quarters and a comic book.
Why don't I do it every time?
I have expenses.