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Kathy



When my brother Steve was 14 he met Kathy in a class they had together as freshmen in high school. From the moment he saw her he was head over heels in love with her. Steve would do anything to be with her. If that meant sneaking out at night to see her, and risking Dad's wrath later , it was a fair price as far as Steve was concerned. Steve lost all semblance of rationality when it came to Kathy. ( And let's be honest. Rationality was not Steve's strong point. He was the type of guy who went on gut instincts and feeling his whole life.)
When men in my family fall in love , they fall in love. Grandpa Leo was in a traveling circus when he met my Grandma.( He was a wrestler and roustabout) When the circus left, Grandpa stayed behind to marry her. My Dad fell in love with my Mom very quickly. She dumped him before he went into the Marines. Even when he came back years later engaged to another woman, he still looked my Mom up.( Thank God for that.) When he found out she had his child he broke up with that woman ( I call her Almost Mom) and married Mom. Nothing would have stopped him. In 1992 Steve's 17 year old son Kris introduced me to his new girlfriend Heidi. One look at Kris is all it took me to know they would be together for a very long time.
Steve was no different. In fact he was so in love with Kathy , that Mom and Dad thought it wasn't healthy. They believed that Steve was too young to have that steady of a girlfriend. So Dad tried to get Steve to stop seeing her. If there was one thing guaranteed to push Steve closer to Kathy it was Dad trying to pull them apart.
There is a family legend about when Steve first brought Kathy over to meet Dad. Dad stood there glaring at Kathy. Finally he looked at Steve and remarked, " So this is what you've been smelling around?" Kathy left in tears.
I've said Dad was a mean drunk before, but perhaps I should have mentioned he was a pretty mean sober as well.
All this did was reinforce in Steve's mind the depth of the love he felt for Kathy.
How did I feel about all this? I thought it would be best for all concerned if Kathy would break up with Steve.
Not because I didn't like her, but because I wanted to marry her. I pointed out to her every chance I would get that in just 10 short years I would be Steve's age. So if she would be kind enough to just stop aging for he next decade everything would work out. Kathy would smile and laugh , and I would grow very angry at my oldest brother. First he shoots me in the back , and now he was making time with the woman I was planning to marry in 15 short years. I did everything I could to make Kathy see the error of her ways. She could find a man (or boy) with the charm and class she deserved. To show her what a classy guy I was, I would run upstairs and put my clip on tie and dress jacket on whenever she came over.
( Little piece of trivia here, I am the only man who ever openly hit on Kathy in front of Steve and walked away in one piece. Being Steve's brother helped I'm sure. Plus the fact I was 10 years younger then him probably saved me as well.)
But no matter how well dressed I was Kathy only had eyes for Steve. Eventually Mom and Dad realized that their every effort to break Steve and Kathy apart was simply driving them closer. It took me awhile longer to come around. Finally it hit me that if I did succeed in breaking them up , Kathy would have no reason to come around anymore. So I came to the conclusion that having Kathy with Steve was better then having No Kathy ( And a very disgruntled Steve). Besides I thought that during the next 10 years Steve would screw up some how , and I could move in.
That's what made me different then my family. I planned in the long term. ( It never got me anywhere , but at least I had long term plans for going no where.)
Years passed. Soon Kathy was as much a part of the family as if she'd always been.
After New Years 1973 ,just after Steve turned 18, Dad told us we were going to move. Dad's drinking had gotten him in trouble at work. So instead of waiting to get fired he took a transfer. At the time we lived in Davenport ,Iowa. Dad's transfer was taking him to Illinois. After a few weeks of talking , and driving with Mom to look for houses they settled on a farm house outside a small town called Cambridge. Our parents took us to drive by the house. The house was at least twice as big as the place we were living in. There was a big barn and a small shed and plenty of yard for my dog Duke to run and play in. Just down the road from us was a big barn with "Green Acres", in huge white letters painted on the roof.
This proposed a huge problem for Steve. He could move with the rest of the family to our new home. Or he could stay behind, find a place to live on his own, and be with Kathy.
Anyone who knew Steve , would know that for Steve this wasn't a choice at all.
In March 1973 when my family left Davenport for our new home , Steve did not come along. Steve had many faults in his life. But his strong point was a fierce loyalty to family.
And before the year was out Steve would marry Kathy and make her his family.
First he shoots me.
Then he married Kathy.
I'm not sure what bothered me more.