My weeklong tribute to stupid people continues


The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow
As I've said before between the years 1979 and 1984 my Mom was the caretaker of a private park. This meant that my summers were filled with swimming, fishing and camping. The first thing I did every morning was look out my bedroom window and see if there were any pretty girls on the beach.
My first year there I was shy and awkward towards the girls there. Then something clicked in my brain. I realized these pretty girls in small wet swimsuits were in my backyard. I became slightly more outgoing.
The summer of 1981 was my best yet. It was just fun. No other words to describe it. Where I'm sure my other brothers and sister would describe their teen years with angst and heartache, so far my biggest drama was how to sneak out of my room to get back to the campsite of 5 hot girls.
My days were filled with swimming in a lake. My nights were filled with running around the campsites looking for girls.
Rough life.
Anyway in the summer of 1981 a very pretty girl came out to the park. She was from Arizona spending the summer with her grandparents. Her grandparents were one of our summer regulars. They came out to the park around the end of May and didn't leave until the first of September.
Which meant that this girl was in my park all summer. Her name was Lisa. She was tall, with long blonde hair, and a dark tan. She spent most of her days on my beach wearing a skimpy pink bathing suit. I even caught my Dad checking her out from behind his ever present dark glasses.
I wasted no time in getting to know her. She was very friendly, always smiling with her perfect white teeth. At first she didn't talk a lot, staying silent and mysterious. This simply peaked my interest. I redoubled my interests to get to know her. Finally she began to open up.
And to my utter astonishment I found out that this girl was no smarter than a house plant. It became apparent that he hadn't been talking much because she didn't have anything to say. I came to the conclusion that she was smiling all the time because the last coherent thought she must have had was a happy one. The remnants of which were still bouncing around her empty skull.
I became afraid everytime she got into the water that her head was going to fill up and that she'd sink to the bottom.
As pretty as she was ( and she was pretty) I found the lack of intelligence very unattractive and moved on. ( What's funny is that in my 20's this would have been no problem at all)
As time went on I found that she was still very useful. Most of the other boys in the area would spend their time hitting on her. This left most of the other girls free for me. After a while I barely noticed her anymore.
A few weeks into the summer I was found out there was to be a Lunar Eclipse coming up. I had no memory of ever seeing on before and was looking forward to viewing it. The eclipse wouldn't happen until well after midnight that night and I decided to camp out to see it. Also there was a new girl camping out that night with her family and I wanted to meet her.
So that night I was walking though the campsites heading towards my parents small camper when I stopped and was talking to Lisa's grandparents. I told them I'd be spending the night out there waiting for the lunar eclipse.
Lisa looked at me and asked, "What a lunar eclipse?"
Trying to think of the most simple way to explain it to her I said," Well you know what a regular eclipse is right? It's when moon gets in front of the sun and it gets all dark for a little. Well a Lunar one is where........"
I saw a flash in Lisa's eyes, (in all likely hood the flash was simply two spare neutrons smashing together in her empty skull) and she rushed to finish what she thought I was saying. "It's where the sun gets in front of the moon?!" She was so happy.
I stared at her for a moment with my mouth open, stunned. I was about to tell her she was wrong when I suddenly thought, it would be more fun to just let her think she was right. Slowly a smile spread over my face.
"Yes. Yes that right."
She got very excited. "Oh will the sun come out for a little bit?"
My smile spread. "Yes. Yes it will." This was just too much fun. I added,"And I'm going swimming when it does."
She became very animated. "Oh Oh can I go with you when it does.!"
"Sure!" This was quickly becoming more fun than the actual upcoming eclipse. I talked with her a little more and she got even more excited. Jumping up and down saying she couldn't wait for this to happen. Eventually I couldn't think of anything else to make up and went to my camper just a few yards away.
A few minutes later she came over to me while I was making a campfire. "Why don't we have these in Arizona?"
Smiling I looked up at her. "Well you see it's because of the time difference. Arizona is two hours behind. So by time it's the same time in Arizona it's already over."
"Ohhhhhhhh." She acted like what I said made any sense.
The family camping next to me asked what she was all excited about. I told them and they all cracked up laughing. A little later when they were heading to the showers to clean up for the night, they told Lisa they were taking the towels to the beach to wait for the eclipse.
Lisa was now running around like a headless chicken. She ran into her grandparents massive camper and came out a few moments later with a swimsuit and large beach towel. After a while this got boring and I went off to find the new girl. She came back to my campsite ,we talked a while around the campfire and eventually she went back to her camp site. Around midnight I noticed Lisa sitting in a lawn chair outside her camper. She was still wearing her swimsuit. Her towel was wrapped around her like a blanket. She was still waiting for the eclipse.
I fell asleep before the eclipse happened. Around 5 in the morning I heard banging on my camper door. It was Lisa. She was screaming ,"It's happening ! It's happening!"
I opened my door. "Lisa it's just the sunrise."
She was very disappointed. "But I stayed up all night waiting for it."
"Maybe you fell asleep for a little without realizing it." I put my hand on her shoulder. "Maybe next year."
Later on that day Dad called me into the office. Lisa's grandfather was there. "Did you make Lisa think the sun was coming out at 2 in the morning?"
"Maybe a little."
Dad was trying very hard not to smile. "Don't do that anymore."
I often wonder what ever happened to Lisa. With her looks she could have become a model, a actress, a stripper, or a high priced call girl. In her case probably all of the above. In that order.

So what's the most outrageous thing you've ever made someone believe? Or whats the most outrageous thing you've been led to believe? Just curious.