I Get The Shock Of My Life


By late March or early April 1973, we had pretty much settled in to our new home. The only thing wrong with the house was that we could not drink the water. The landlord told us that something was wrong with it , and it was not fit to drink. We had to bring water in from a well that was just outside and to the side of the back door. Within a very short amount of time it was just part of the routine. When drinking water was low we took the water jugs outside and filled them back up.
Actually when I say "we" I meant "me". Being the youngest had many drawbacks one of which was having to do all the crap that the others didn't want to do. So very early on in our new home I began to hear the cries of "Water boy!". Dad even started calling me that. When I complained about it he told me that," Gunga Din started out as a water boy and look where he ended up." Not sure how to answer that I just stayed quiet and got the water. I would have complained to my Mom but she seemed very distant lately, like she had something on her mind.
We all made friends rapidly at our new school. At that point we were all used to being the "new kid" in school, so it was no big deal anymore. Even within that first month we all had new friends stop by and visit us. Very soon we were all completely at ease in new home.
The only thing to strike me odd was that my dog, Duke was sleeping more and more in Geno and John's room. I couldn't understand why. Duke didn't even particularly like Geno and John. I suspected they were hiding dog treats in his room. Mom thought that Duke wanted to be in a warmer room then mine. My room was still a little cooler then all the other rooms , but Dad said that would change soon with summer soon on it's way.
Outside however Duke would always be by my side. We spent plenty of time together checking out the farm land. There was a nice area of land that came with the house. I would pretend that we were on some great adventure together.
Our adventures were much safer now that Geno and John had been deprived of their dreaded sling shots. At last I could walk around without fear of a rocky projectile hitting me in my back. My brothers were not as happy about this as I was. Geno and John had spent the first week after Dad took the sling shots trying to figure out where he had hid them. They spent the second week trying to rig-up substitute sling shots to shoot at me. All that did was leave John with a big red welt on his face when it back fired on him.
Around the third weekend after we moved into the house, Dad and Mom left for the morning to do some errands. Dad warned everyone that if anything was broken or ruined when he got back he would kill the whole lot of us. So to be on the safe side we spent most of our time outdoors in the warm spring day where there were less things to break.
Rose was riding her bike up and down the long driveway. Geno and John , needing new ways to beat themselves senseless, had taken sticks and made a crude sort of sword out of them. They went to the far back corner of our property and began to hack away at each other.( Years later I would come up with a far more elegant version of this game with points for each hit and so forth. Geno and John's only goal it seemed was to find out who could break the sticks over the other's head first.) Since my brothers were at the back of our large yard Duke and I were exploring around the front of the house. I figured as much distance as humanly possible between me and my brothers was probably in my best interest.
Whoever had lived here before us had a boy who played with G.I. Joes . From almost the first moment we had moved in I was finding G.I. Joe equipment all over the yard and house. Since I desperately wanted a G.I. Joe for my own I was trying to collect all the things this kid had left behind. I was hoping that soon I'd get one of my own and could use all the stuff I had found with my own action figure. (Girls play with dolls. Boys play with Action Figures. ) On this day I was looking under the porch. While under there I had found a rifle and a shirt for G.I. Joe. I wondered how much G.I. Joe stuff this kid had, not to care he left all this behind. My great hope was that this bozo had left a G.I. Joe itself somewhere around here.
As I was under the porch for a second look I heard John scream very loudly. I figured Geno had knocked him over the head and had won their game. A little later as I was crawling out from under the porch I heard Geno scream, even more loudly. Good I thought. They've both been knocked silly today. Grabbing my new found treasure I went in the house and ran up to my room. Duke waited outside my door while I put the G.I. Joe shirt and rifle in a cigar box I had under my bed. I was finding so much stuff that pretty soon and I was going to need a bigger box.
As I walked out of the room I walked right into John. He was holding two tennis rackets in his hands. One was wooden, the other metal.
"Come here we want to show you something." He sounded very excited. I didn't trust him.
"You're going to hit me with those aren't you?"
John looked at the rackets in his hands as if that thought hadn't occurred to him yet. "No . No. We found something that we want to show you ..Before Rose gets it. It's something you really want. "
Rose might want this? I better get there first, I thought. Maybe it was some more G.I. Joe stuff. Maybe it was a G.I. Joe itself? If Rose found one she'd never let me have it. I followed John down the stairs and out the back door. After we got close to where Geno was waiting , John told me to close my eyes.
"Why", I asked.
"It'll make the surprise better."
I was suspicious again. "You sure you're not going to hit me?"
John smiled a big smile. "I promise you. I won't touch you with these."
I was still a little unsure but I thought to myself ,"What's the worse that could happen?" I closed my eyes and walked forward like John told me. My hand touched a wire.
.......
I've been sitting here for a few minutes trying to figure out some way to write about walking ,with my eyes closed, straight into a electric fence without using the words shocking and electrifying. I don't think it can be done.
.......
I literally had the shock of my life. I screamed and tried to let go of the fence, but I couldn't. Electricity was shooting though me. Geno finally pulled me off getting a shock himself. Geno and John were both laughing.
"Wasn't that cool", John asked. " We've been seeing who can get closest without touching it."
"Show him the rackets", Geno said.
"Yeah that's why I have these. You can touch the fence with the rackets and not get shocked." John took the wooden racket and touched the electric fence with it. 'See?" He threw me the metal racket. "Go ahead and touch it."
Carefully I lowered the racket and touched the fence , discovering the hard way that metal conducts electricity. This time after I screamed John just used the wooded racket to push me back. I landed on the ground still in shock. Geno and John laughed even harder that time. Then Geno noticed Rose over by the barn.
"Quick go get her."
John ran off and within minutes he was walking Rose towards the fence with her eyes closed. Rose thought she was going to see a litter of baby kittens. As John passed where I was sitting ,I stood up. John stopped right next to the fence.
"OK just walk ahead a couple of feet."
Before Rose could walk a step ,I shoved John as hard as I could into the fence. Rose opened her eyes and started screaming. John was screaming even more loudly. I took off running as fast as I could. Behind me Geno pulled John away from the fence and they both took off after me. Rose was following close behind. I wasn't sure whose side she was going to be on, and I wasn't sticking around to find out. I was almost to the house when Dad's car pulled into the driveway.
I turned around and stuck my tongue out at my brothers.
My parents got out of the car. They were both smiling. Mom looked at us."I want everyone in the house. I have something to say." Mom turned and walked into the house. Very curious we all followed.
Inside Mom sat at the kitchen table , still smiling. Dad stood right behind her with his hands on her shoulders.
" Tom I have bad news for you. You aren't going to be the youngest in the family much longer. I'm going to have a baby!"
We all immediately forgot the electric fence. I remember Rose literally screaming with joy. I joked that by time the baby was 18 Steve was going to be an old man with a cane. Everyone was laughing and talking all at the same time. Mom told us that the baby was due in early December , right around my birthday or John's birthday.(December 1st and December 2nd).
Dad told us that we were all going out for dinner that night , but right now he wanted to be alone with Mom. He told us to go back outside and play. We did as Dad told us. Rose got back on her bike. Geno and John headed back towards where the electric fence was. I sat on the back steps still stunned. Finally I was going to be a big brother.
I thought of how my older siblings had treated me. I looked over at Geno and John ,who were already trying to knock each other senseless with those sticks again. I promised myself I would never be the type of big brother who would walk my little brother into a electric fence.
Or shoot him.
Or run him though a glass door.
Or break all his model airplanes.
Or break his records.
I would be a good big brother.
Around that time I noticed that Geno and John were getting very close to that electric wire again. With Duke close behind me I snuck off towards them. I was fairly sure I could surprise one of them and shove him into the fence.