Divorce.
My wife wants a divorce.

Even though I knew she was distant of late, I hoped, though the blind eyes of a husband it was just a passing thing. There was a lot to see if I had only looked. I found out Tuesday.
On Tuesday I found out many other things. I'll decide later on how to speak or write of them.
This was my life before Tuesday. Angie worked while I stayed home with the kids. I never pretended to be the best "housewife", but I did my best. I have had health issues for the last few years that made working a bit more difficult. Angie appeared to be understanding and supportive.
I spend almost all my time with my kids in one capacity or another. Last Summer both boys were out of the house at the same time. It was the first time I'd been alone in this house since we moved back in after the fire. I didn't know what to do with myself.
My health has improved over the last couple of years. I've been wanting to get a part-time job to feel useful, but when Angie and I figured out what we'd lose in other areas, it didn't make fiscal sense. She told me that I was useful, being a dad.
I won't go into the details of her......life and other things right now. For one, the memory that she was lieing to me for well over half a year makes me doubt all the good moments we've had. Were they a lie to.
The second reason is that the details are just way too bizarre. I'm fairly sure this is the kind of stuff that would headline a Jerry Springer show or even make Dateline or the news.
The third reason is that I want my children to read this one day and I don't want them to see me ranting about their mother.
I plan on fighting for my kids. Ethan has told me that he wants to live with me. While he has no legal standing in this, this has given me more strength then you can know. If he changes his mind I will honor whatever his wishes are, without trying to pressure him. As far as I'm concerned he has the final word in this. Anyone trying to influence him ,one way or another will be dealt with. I have already told my family not to say anything bad about my wife in front of him.
I will fight hard for my children and my home.
I don't say house. I say home. This stopped being a wood structure to me a long time ago. There is more to this place then just floors, and walls, and and a really cool television. I have spent more of my life here then anywhere else. My kids have spent their whole life's here. My happiest moments, and some of my saddest have been spent here. I have already almost lost it once. (After the fire) I do not plan on losing it again.
I am incredibly focused here. Depending on what side you may or may not be on, that may not be a particularly good thing. I will use any and all legal tools at my disposal to achieve my goals. (Speaking of tools, it seems my wife's.......boyfriends family has just recently begun to use crude stone tools. Next week they are hoping to invent fire.) Anyone that truly knows me knows how relentless I can be when I really want something. I don't expect this to be easy, but nothing worthwhile is. And nothing.....Nothing is worth more to me then my kids. Anyone that would get in between me and my kids had better do so with the appropriate caution.
So what does this mean for you, my gentle blog reader? Are you going to be reading the grim story of a middle aged man having to start over again in life? Are you going to see the slow (or fast) decline of a jilted broken man? Will you have to start reading this blog with Chopin's Funeral March playing in the background?
Nope. While this may change the focus of my blog for awhile I promise you it will not become some sad story. Any humor that was once here will remain. My entries hopefully will continue as before without editorial interference.
Weather I stay here with my kids or am forced to leave my life is going to change. I will not be brought to my knees by this. Remember this is the story of someone who wants to be a better man. I can't see any greater test for that then this. I cannot allow myself to fail here.
Like my Father (and my sister) there's a reason I smile when I become very angry.
I love a good fight. So to quote from the great Al Bundy, "Bring it on."
Talk to you soon.