My Dad's Easter Humor
I don't really have a funny story to go with this (yet), but the night before Easter was a tense night for me as a young boy. As we would get ready for bed my Dad would make a big show of locking the doors and windows and screaming for everyone to hear,"If that damn rabbit breaks in tonight I'm going to shoot him! We'll have rabbit stew for Easter one of these years if it's the last thing I do!"
For the Happiness and Joy of children all across the world I'm glad to announce that the Easter Bunny was able to safely get in and out of our house without being seriously wounded. Somehow it made the candy the next day all the sweeter.

My Easter Humor
In High School for art class one year I was painting a very nice picture of Christ being crucified. Under the cross I had the Virgin Mary weeping with some other women, some Roman soldiers standing around holding spears, and on the ground in front of the cross was a few Easter eggs. In the background was the Easter Bunny hopping away, with a few Roman centurions vainly giving chase.
Sadly the oil painting vanished soon after Easter that year.
When my Dad saw I was painting a picture of Christ he was at first thrilled. After years of drawing and painting things he didn't understand here at last was something he could hang on his wall. When he saw the Easter Bunny included shortly after he became less then happy. The wall remained bare.
But honestly it was better than my first attempt.
My first attempt was the Easter Bunny being crucified. I had a little Easter basket laying at the foot of the cross with some eggs spilling out. I even made one of the centurions look remarkably like Dad. In one of the very few times my art teacher gave me direction I was advised to "tone " it down. Some of the younger elementary kids were "disturbed" by the painting.
But honestly it wasn't because of that I changed it. I was having a hard time making blood on white rabbit fur look real. So I decided just to have him in the background.

And the sad thing is Dad never understood where my sense of humor came from.
Easter Oddities
They don't make them anymore, but as a child one of my favorite Easter candies was a Chocolate cross with Jesus on it.
I loved Chocolate Jesus. I would eat the cross first, then start with his feet, I would eat my way to his knees, and then start on his hands. Eventually all that was left of Chocolate Jesus was his head. The entire time I spent eating him I would, in a low voice, say things like, "No don't eat me, please stop. Not my feet! ahhhhhhhhhh!" Mom and Dad would stare at me in shocked silience.
Later at Church when the Priest would eventually get around to the whole, "drink of my blood, eat of my flesh" stuff, I would just sit there and nod and smile.
I miss Chocolate Jesus. But at least for Christmas there is still a Candy Santa or two floating around. ( I eat his head first. I don't want my kids to hear the muffled screams of Santa. Might upset them.)