"If I'm going to have a past I'd prefer it to be multiple choice"............
On Golden Pond
In the early part of 1983 I went to a play with my English teacher Norma Brown, and 4 other classmates.
It was my senior year and having earned enough credits to graduate at the end of my junior year found myself quite bored. In order to keep myself awake I found myself doing more and more things I would never have dreamed of earlier.
One of them was going out for the drama club. I soon landed myself a role in the Wizard Of Oz. I was the flying monkeys.
All of them. (We didn't have enough actors for more)
I was put into a a little flying harness which was rigged into a pulley. My "friend " Tim would pull on the rope and I would go flying (out of control) across the stage. Tim found out that if he pulled the rope hard enough I'd go flying across the stage and into the wall.
Hard.
By the end of the play my Monkey costume had the wings bent, and I had a minor concussion. The final curtain call I was laying on the stage half conscience.
I was told I was the best part of the play.
Because I was such a huge hit, when Mrs Brown found out that On Golden Pond was playing at a nearby Barn theater she picked me as one of the students to go. When we got there she looked at me and said, "Ok everyone, we're representing our school. Don't do anything to embarrass us."
By the end of the first half I was fighting to stay awake. No car chases, no gun fire, and no nudity. Good God didn't these people have any idea how put on a show.
When intermission came I was hoping we could just skip on home. Mrs Brown nixed the idea.
I was walking around trying to find a restroom when I came across a tray with some cookies on it. There were only about 6 cookies left. I looked around. When i was certain that no one was looking I took them. I got back to my seat just in time for the play to start.
Not wanting to be a selfish pig I gave a cookie each to my classmates. I was going to keep the 6th cookie to myself. But I thought, "Hey Mrs Brown was nice to bring you here. You'd better give her one."
I leaned over and gave her the cookie. "Hey Mrs Brown, do you want a cookie?" She smiled at me and said," Thanks Tom. Call me Norma. We're out of school." I looked at her. "You know she's only about 30", I thought. Kinda cute too in that older woman kinda way.
I gave her my best smile. "Ok Norma." Maybe I was going to get an A. in english after all.
Just as Norma put the cookie in her mouth the actress playing the old lady came in with an empty tray and said, "Who wants some cookies?" The other actors looked very befuddled as they reached for the empty tray and pretended to take a cookie and eat it. Norma's smile began to fade. She sat there stone face with her half eaten cookie in front of her face. She tried to eat what was in her mouth quietly but each time she tried to chew it cut though the crowd like a bullhorn. Every actor in the play stared at her. Norma's face began to turn a bright shade of red.
"Tom ", she said in a very quiet, yet very angry voice, "Just where did you get that cookie."
Trying not to smile I said, "I found it laying around on a tray." Then not able to help myself anymore I smiled.
When the play was over instead of hanging around to meet the actors we bolted to Norma's car. On the way home I said, "I'm sorry Norma. I didn't know those were cookies for the play."
"Call me Mrs. Brown."
I only got a B- that year.
