Trust
I am having serious trust issues with my wife.
heh.
Sorry. Something about that I found funny. Not sure what.
Anyway. I used to trust my wife implicitly. When I had good news or bad, she was the one I wanted to share it with first.
Now that has changed.
It's sad on a million different levels. For one the memory of our good times still haunts me. Every now and then I look at her and my heart softens. Then I remember what has been happening and it hardens harder then before.
It's sad because we started out so much in love. I used to smirk (not so quietly) that we had something that most people would never know.
It's sad because there are children involved. Kids can never understand these things. All Ethan wants is everything to be back the same. I'm sure Isaac wants the same thing if he could tell us.
But what's particularly sad for me at the moment, is that this is the moment when we should be trying to trust each other the must. The future of our children is at stake. The perverse thing is if there was ever a time to work together it's when we are splitting apart.
I'll do my best, but the whole trust issue is hard. I'm prepared to fight this. I'm prepared to win. But we need to remember that even if we divorce we will be connected for the rest of our lives.
So for my part I plan to be as open with Angie during this as possible. I have the truth on my side, and I believe the law as well. I plan on trying to do this with as much dignity as I can.
I'm also prepared for the eventuality that this will get nasty. I hope not. I pray too God that it won't. (Yes even though I've been angry with the big guy off and on since 1982, I still believe in him. Sometimes I think of God as a big puppy and I'm his chew toy.) But I would be an idiot if I didn't plan for it.
But just because I am preparing for it doesn't mean I have to like it. I know if ever there was a cause to fight for it's this one. But I will not fight for the sheer pleasure of fighting.
( when I say fight please keep in mind I don't mean anything physical. I could count the number of times I've been in a real fight on one hand and still be able to flash you the peace sign with the fingers left over. In my family, fights are more of a mental game then anything. Some of my sister and I's bigger fights have exchanged without a word between us or a punch thrown.)
Like most things in my life I have multiple goals here. I truly believe that it is in my kids best interest to stay with me. I don't want to to unduly hurt my wife here either. And I want an outcome that somehow benefits us both.
It would be so easy to let anger rule my emotions here. It would be easy to just rant on with how much I am hurt and to wrap myself in all the sympathetic comments I get.
But to what end would that achieve? In the end I would still feel hurt, and Angie would be hurt even more so. In the end my children would suffer the most.
So no. Anger can not rule the day here.
unfortunately that's as far as my logic takes me at this point. I don't know all the answers here. (Other than Liz Taylor who has all the answers to a divorce?) At least I'm aware of some of the incorrect answers.

Ok now for a little lighter stuff.
Last night Ethan was trying to figure out what type of woman should be my next wife. I told him, "Hey buddy, I think it's a little too soon to be looking for my next wife. I need to get over your Mom Ethan. I don't think I'll get remarried anytime soon. If ever."
"What about a Doctor, or a Attorney?"
"I'm not sure if I could find one of those."
"Or an artist? "
"Well an artist sounds fine, but they can get a little flaky."
"Or a model?"
"Well yeah a model would be ok. I guess."
"What about someone who was all those things?"
Now two weeks ago this would have been the last conversation I would ever think about having with my son. What's funny is that in some small way I feel closer to him then I ever did before. It's a comforting feeling knowing that my 10 year old son is looking for a single woman between the ages of 21 and 22, who is an accomplished artist, and has also graduated from law school, and become a doctor. Also in her spare time she moonlights as a swimsuit model.
And she also has to like me.
Ethan also asked if maybe she could be a teacher as well as the other things.
"Hey buddy. Let's not set the bar too high for this woman."

Hey All.
By special request I will not be writing tonight's post. Ethan has been pestering me to write one, so tonight I will let him. I have no idea what he will write about, but he's been promised free reign on this site for tonight.
So without further wait Here's Ethan.
Ethan's Blog.
In this I will tell you my feelings about what is going with my family and other stuff.
1. I just quit some games I have been playing and my friends probably will be reading this and I hate putting capitals while typing .I also have been waiting a while to do this and tomorrow(Jan. 28,2004) will be my 100th day of school party. Some classmates will not attend because they got c's and lower on their Social Studies test (I got A+. YAY!!)
2. I know about my parents getting divorced. My anger is really high (so high that when I mess up I nearly cuss).My mom's pathetic boyfriend learned his A B C's last week,then burned himself licking fire. I will have that cartoon made somehow. This stupid,pathetic divorce should stop and I'm writing a book and read high school books. My parents should stop it. Note:My anger is rising the more I think of this and if you meet my while this is on my mind, you should hide.
3. Now to learn about me. I am 10 yrs old .You know about the book and reading level and anger. I am smart and might write more of my blog so you can wait. 2 jokes. Is your stomach working? You say "Yes". I say " You better tell it it's time for lunch break. I thought of it now for my friend's joke. Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? You say "I don't know(or care)?" He or I say" it was too far to fly". Ha ha those are funny (not to some). I'm also a boy.
4. I care for my family (don't forget future!), but life can't be perfect . Half of me says just stop the divorce ! The other says just go to court ! This is torturing me . I can spend forever writing about the worthless divorce !My heart is full of Sorrow. I also want my parents to stop the divorce and redo their marriage .When this article is done I hope to see comments from friends and other readers and I hope they are good and/or funny and honest .My book (if your wondering) is a fairy tale like thing with some of my biography. I can't think of anything else to say because I have a lot on my mind. So this is the end of the article. I hope you like this!!!!!

Right

In the early evening of July 23 1982, a man named Lonnie said to me, "Wow isn't it neat when exciting things happen!?"
I hit Lonnie with the best punch I had ever thrown in my life. My punishment was exile and a week's trip to a bible camp.
I hit Lonnie because it was the right thing to do. He was wrong on such a massive scale it's hard to even explain, and I was right. What's more I knew beyond any shadow of doubt I was right.
I was only 17 at the time and to me life was filled with only right or wrong. People were either good or bad. There was nothing better then standing up and fighting for something that was right. I hated bullies and loved standing up to them. While they all knew they could beat me up, most also knew that eventually they'd come swim in my lake. More then one bully ended up a mass of tears before he got to dry land.
And I did it because it was right. They were bad and someone needed to stand up to them.
Of everyone in my family I was the only one who would stand up against Dad when he was being a jerk and completely wrong. There was always a price to pay for it and I gladly paid it.
Because it was right to do.
Don't get me wrong. I was no goody twoshoes. I was always a little bit of a conniver and cad. But I had limits that under no circumstances would I cross.
I felt like I was some noble warrior fighting the good fight. Of course being noble didn't mean you couldn't fight dirty or mean. It just meant that you fought on the side of what was right.
Somewhere in my early 20's I lost my way. When I was younger I was actually a very centered and balanced person. By time I was in my early 20's a definite cruel streak had begun to emerge. I now began to find myself on the wrong end of conflicts. Where once I stood up for people being picked on, I now took a savage pleasure in being able to make pretty much anyone I met cry within 10 minutes of starting a conversation.
I knew what I was turning into and I didn't like it. The more I didn't like it, the more I turned into it. Where once I was at peace with myself, now I looked for ways to get myself into trouble. By the age of 23 I had a death wish. I put myself into dangerous circumstances, and even then I'd help it along a little. I was a liar, a cheat, and a thief. I wanted nothing more then to be punished
Eventually I ended back in Kewanee, a town I had tried to escape for many years. While here I met Angie and soon at the age of 28 I had a son.
Something happened to me while holding him for the first time. Instead of feeling anger towards the world I felt peace. For the first time in my life I felt clear purpose. I was a Dad. I had to guide him though life. Show him a better life then the one I ended up with. A world without French Doors.
I wanted no fights any longer. I wanted no conflicts, no punishment. I held his little hand in mine and felt connection for the first time in years.
6 years later Angie blessed me with another son.
No matter how bad life could get on the outside, in my home I always had the love of my wife and kids to get me though. I wanted no trouble from anyone. I just wanted to be a good Dad. My life before my kids were a distant memory.
Now for the first time in ages I find myself in a fight again. And for the first time in even longer I am on the right side.
Not since I was a young man has the sides been so black and white. If other people don't see it so clear, it bothers me not. I have the faith and strength of my convictions. Never before have I ever fought for anything with the stakes of that which I find myself fighting for now.
And for the first time in ages I have allies. (Of course one of my allies is my sister Rose. She's kinda like a doomsday machine. Once unleashed you never know where it's gonna explode.) For the first time in ages my entire family is behind me.
It's nice to be on the right side.
It doesn't mean that I don't feel afraid or nervous. I do. Very much so.
So now I find myself fighting a battle I rather wouldn't, but utterly convinced I need to fight it. I am resolute. I will fight this without losing who I am in the process. I will not surrender to anger or rage like John, or allow myself to forget who I am or what I am fighting for.
Hopefully this will not be a long battle, but even if it is I am prepared to wage it. I must not fail.
I've spent almost 20 years being unfocused in life for one reason or another. I had almost forgotten the intenisty I felt as a young man.
After this is all over I hope I can keep some of it.

Styx

I am faced with the understanding that where I once thought I had a wife who would have jumped off the last boat off the Titanic to stay with me, I now have a wife who would have hopped into the first, mostly empty lifeboat lowered, with some guy she met on the trip.
Living here is a weird echo of what I thought my life was a week ago. Everyone is still here. We still do the same things. The only difference is we know there is an asteroid named divorce hurdling our way.
I look at my wife with obvious conflicting emotions. On one hand she is the same woman I have loved dearly for almost 12 years. She's the same woman who I've shared my life and heart with. But she's also the same woman who has been lying her ass off to me since at least late summer. The nature of this affair is bizarre at best. Like most things in my life I can't have a nice normal breakup with my wife. If she had ran off with Bubbles the chimp, I wouldn't have been more floored to have found out what I have found out.
Shockingly I don't feel hatred or spite towards her. Most of my thoughts and feelings at this moment are directed towards my children. When I look at my wife, my feelings are mostly of sadness. I see her and remember a kiss or a hug from her lately and wonder, "Was it all a lie?" I find myself doubting even the most basic things she's done lately. I remember flashes of my past like a dance without music in our living room, or the way she would put her hands on both sides of my face before a kiss. With sadness I now realize I no longer live in a world where those things will happen again.
I find myself mourning for someone, while at the same time living with that person. It's a strange fate.
Even with everything I suspected during the last few months my love for her never wavered. In fact it still hasn't. But I must do what I can to protect myself, and more importantly, protect my children.
I know we had issues to overcome. I know we needed to work out problems together. But it was impossible with her shutting me out for some fantasy world. I begged her to just talk to me.
But she wouldn't. So now I find myself in a nether regions of marriage. It is like a dead man being taken by Charon across the River Styx.
Angie told me Tuesday morning she wanted to divorce me. I found out many of the details later on that night. As I read the post and e-mails I saw my old life collasping around me. At first I was too shocked too cry. Then I became too upset. John's betrayal really does not compare anymore.
Angie was at work that night.(Or at least I think she was) When she came home I asked her to lay next to me in bed and hold me for just one moment.
It wasn't for comfort.
I knew it would probably be the last time we did that. I lay there remembering a million other such times. I closed my eyes and saw my wife as she was years ago. I thought to myself I never deserved this woman. Whenever I saw her my heart would skip a beat. No matter what happened I had a wife who would love and support me. I lived in a world where I could face anything, because I wouldn't have to face it alone.
In my minds eye I kissed her gently one last time, and let her go. I opened my eyes and looked at me wife laying next to me. A great sadness filled my chest. I mumbled something to the extent of ,"Thanks I needed that." Angie, still not sure why I wanted her to lay next to me, got up and went back to her computer. I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling for a long moment.
It was time for me to accept what type of world I live in.

Divorce.
My wife wants a divorce.

Even though I knew she was distant of late, I hoped, though the blind eyes of a husband it was just a passing thing. There was a lot to see if I had only looked. I found out Tuesday.
On Tuesday I found out many other things. I'll decide later on how to speak or write of them.
This was my life before Tuesday. Angie worked while I stayed home with the kids. I never pretended to be the best "housewife", but I did my best. I have had health issues for the last few years that made working a bit more difficult. Angie appeared to be understanding and supportive.
I spend almost all my time with my kids in one capacity or another. Last Summer both boys were out of the house at the same time. It was the first time I'd been alone in this house since we moved back in after the fire. I didn't know what to do with myself.
My health has improved over the last couple of years. I've been wanting to get a part-time job to feel useful, but when Angie and I figured out what we'd lose in other areas, it didn't make fiscal sense. She told me that I was useful, being a dad.
I won't go into the details of her......life and other things right now. For one, the memory that she was lieing to me for well over half a year makes me doubt all the good moments we've had. Were they a lie to.
The second reason is that the details are just way too bizarre. I'm fairly sure this is the kind of stuff that would headline a Jerry Springer show or even make Dateline or the news.
The third reason is that I want my children to read this one day and I don't want them to see me ranting about their mother.
I plan on fighting for my kids. Ethan has told me that he wants to live with me. While he has no legal standing in this, this has given me more strength then you can know. If he changes his mind I will honor whatever his wishes are, without trying to pressure him. As far as I'm concerned he has the final word in this. Anyone trying to influence him ,one way or another will be dealt with. I have already told my family not to say anything bad about my wife in front of him.
I will fight hard for my children and my home.
I don't say house. I say home. This stopped being a wood structure to me a long time ago. There is more to this place then just floors, and walls, and and a really cool television. I have spent more of my life here then anywhere else. My kids have spent their whole life's here. My happiest moments, and some of my saddest have been spent here. I have already almost lost it once. (After the fire) I do not plan on losing it again.
I am incredibly focused here. Depending on what side you may or may not be on, that may not be a particularly good thing. I will use any and all legal tools at my disposal to achieve my goals. (Speaking of tools, it seems my wife's.......boyfriends family has just recently begun to use crude stone tools. Next week they are hoping to invent fire.) Anyone that truly knows me knows how relentless I can be when I really want something. I don't expect this to be easy, but nothing worthwhile is. And nothing.....Nothing is worth more to me then my kids. Anyone that would get in between me and my kids had better do so with the appropriate caution.
So what does this mean for you, my gentle blog reader? Are you going to be reading the grim story of a middle aged man having to start over again in life? Are you going to see the slow (or fast) decline of a jilted broken man? Will you have to start reading this blog with Chopin's Funeral March playing in the background?
Nope. While this may change the focus of my blog for awhile I promise you it will not become some sad story. Any humor that was once here will remain. My entries hopefully will continue as before without editorial interference.
Weather I stay here with my kids or am forced to leave my life is going to change. I will not be brought to my knees by this. Remember this is the story of someone who wants to be a better man. I can't see any greater test for that then this. I cannot allow myself to fail here.
Like my Father (and my sister) there's a reason I smile when I become very angry.
I love a good fight. So to quote from the great Al Bundy, "Bring it on."
Talk to you soon.

You're So Vain You Probably Think This Blog Is About You
I often think of my brother John as two people. John before the divorce with Peggy, and John after the divorce. The change in him was so extreme he hardly seemed the same person. He let the hatred for his ex-wife consume him. Where there was once a constant smile there was now a hard face distorted by rage. So when I write these blogs about John before the split between him and I, it is with a great deal of love and humor. There is also a great deal of sadness.
Sometimes I can see the events I write of so clearly it's like I'm almost there. I want to reach out and grab him and shout, "What happened to you!" Don't let hatred of your ex-wife turn you into this. I'm angry with him not only for what he did to me, but also for what he did to his kids.
He joined the Army and left them behind. John said it was the best choice for him. But I believe that when you have kids you lose the luxury of choices. John should have stayed and been a father to his kids. Yes he has a good career in the military, but the cost seems high to me.
But maybe I'm seeing it though tinted eyes. I realize now that the same hatred I see in John, is also in me. My anger with him was such that any choice he made I would have condemned. Even then I just wanted to shake him and scream, "Give me my big brother back!" That anger is still in me.
Our falling out was 18 years ago. Children have been born and graduated High School in that time. John has moved on with his life.
So my choice is do I continue to let my anger fester, or do I give it up?
I'd truly like to give it up. I know now that John and I can never be what we were to each other. Too much time has passed for that. But the only thing that the anger I feel towards John accomplishes is to make me feel bad, and to also make me feel tired. (It takes a lot of energy to feel that angry.)
If my wife and I were to ever split, I would hope that I learn from John's lesson. The bad feelings between him and his wife consumed them both. Both children were affected negatively. I would hope that I emerged a better person and not a worse from something like that.
It's not easy letting go of the anger. I know. Even As I type this my pulse quickens at the thought of those many years ago. I know it does nothing make me an ugly person when I feel like that.
My whole purpose for writing this blog was twofold. One to give my kids a view (If somewhat distorted) of their past. The second was to show that anyone can become a better person.
I do truly believe that. I believe that anyone can learn from their mistakes and use them to their advantage.
Yet the ugly feelings in me remain. The child in me refuses to forgive his brother. And it makes me feel small and petty.
Steve is gone. I only have two brothers left. I'm almost 40. Both of them are older. We don't have time for this.
And yet the feelings remain. I wish there was a delete button somewhere for my emotions. But sadly there is not. I'll have to do it on my own if I want to become a better man..
Why does this matter? Because it touches so much of my life. If ever there was a moment of ultimate betrayal in my life it was the moment he tried to make me join the Air-Force when I needed him the most.
I have reacted with far greater anger then needed at other much smaller betrayals because of the memory of that one.
I wish I could learn the lesson of Mark. There have been a couple of times because I had my head wrapped around petty feelings that I have betrayed him. Yet each time he (eventually ) forgave me. (Or at least put it in his past.) When I think of that he shames me.
So what's the trick? How do you let go of something? How do you let emotions that have festered for almost 2 decades just float away?
If I can figure out how to do that I'll become a better man.
I won't be a great man. I might not even be a good man. (not yet) But I will be a better man.
And you see that's the rub of it. You never stop trying to be a better man. Because if you do something that makes you a better person and stop there, you've failed ultimately. The quest to be a better man is one that will last a lifetime.
There's always something else to improve.
(Cept for Mark)

How Come?
I have a few questions for you, my few faithful readers. How did you first find me? What was it that made you want to read me a second time? (And please, no "I hate myself and this is a way for me to punish myself" answers. I'm looking your way Mark.) And lastly what was my best blog? Just curious as to why anyone would read me. (This is, in all probability, just a subconscious, shameless way for me to fish for compliments.)
Tomorrow to honor Martin Luther King day, I'm going to stay in bed all day and dream. I have no idea what I'm going to dream about but I'm sure Jedi's and Raquel Welch will be involved. I'll post again on Tuesday or Wednesday.
In honor of Dr. King I'll leave you with the wisdom of another wise man and his lesson on how to deal with people.
Ignore those you can and remove those you can't, but do not get angry. If you are walking through the woods, you do not get angry at a tree that happened to grow up directly in your path. The tree could not help it. It existed. You do not sit on the ground in front of the tree and lecture it. You ignore it. And if you cannot ignore it, you remove it. So you must act with people. They are, for the most part, like trees. They do what they do because they are what they are.

VINNY







1975 started out much better for my family then 1974 had. Since my tenth birthday every thing seemed to calm down in our house. We had lived in Kewanee for a year already and there seemed to be no immediate plans to move. Dad had a job now as Park Police which he seemed to enjoy a great deal. Steve was off in the army but for the rest of the family there seemed to be nothing going on in our life's but the same routine everyday.
On the weekdays we would go to school. After school I would either play with my dog Duke or play with the angel, living two doors down from me, named Kathy. I was convinced I was Kathy's boyfriend but had yet to actually inform her of that fact. (IN this I was not alone. Most boys in my class were smitten with the cuteness that was Kathy.)
Also after school I would play with the two boys that lived in the house between Kathy and me. Their names were Lance and Troy and of course Mom ended up babysitting them.
The house Lance and Troy lived in was divided into two apartments, with Lance, Troy and their mother living in the downstairs, while the upstairs apartment remained empty. Geno often used it as a place to stash his beers since Dad was now anti-drinking. Geno also tried to convince some local high school girls to go in there with him and "Party." Geno was very unsuccessful in this.
Almost every weekend Dad and I would go see a movie. If Dad didn't take me one of my brothers usually would. (usually John.) My brothers and I also took to playing a game called RISK (A game of global domination on Saturday's. RISK games would start around 6 in the evening with two of my brothers friends joining named Joe , and Charlie. These games would stretch into the early morning hours with a break at midnight for ACRI CREATURE FEATURE.
Creature Feature was a show that played old horror movies every weekend. It was sponsored by a local aluminum siding company. The show would start with a coffin opening it's very creaky lid and the character of Vinny the Vampire coming out. Then the host of the show Chuck Acri would come down some steps and introduce the movie of the night. By today's standards it was cheesy and more then a little silly, but back then it was the high point of our weekends. The minute we heard the creaking of the coffin lid the game would take a break and we would watch the movie. (Sadly I almost never had to take a break as I would be gone from the game by that point. Everyone always ganged up on me to eliminate me from the game.) John thought himself a great artist and every weekend would send in a new drawing to Creature Feature. Halfway though the movie Chuck Acri would award the spookiest drawing with the CREEP OF THE WEEK award. (The highlit of John's young life was when he actual won it.) Chuck would walk over to the new drawings for the week and talk about what fine pieces of artwork they were. Apparently there were an endless supply of boys like John. He always had dozens of drawings up there every week.



In Early March of 1975, Vinny the Vampire left the show. Creature Feature seemed a little poorer without him. Of course we still watched it. John still had hopes of again being Creep of the Week. Geno would tell him that as far as he was concerned John was Creep of the Year.
Sometime in late May of 1975, Dad told us he was going for a drive with Mom. He was going to leave the rest of us (Myself ,Rose, John , and Geno) alone in the house. Dad decided while he was gone John would be in charge of us. Geno objected strongly saying he was the oldest and he should be in charge. Dad just laughed at him and told Geno he wouldn't trust with a dog let alone actual people.
Just before Dad got into the car to leave he told us that if they came back to find me shot or bleeding all over the place, he was just going to kill everyone. I thought briefly about ramming a body part though a window to get them in trouble, but didn't trust my brothers to get me medical attention in time.
"And one other thing", Dad said. "Under no circumstance is any of your dippy friend's allowed in my house while I'm gone." This was actually a fairly standard warning. Heck, Dad didn't want our friends over when he was there, let alone running amok in his house while he wasn't there.
Amazingly John took his duties very seriously when Dad left. It was a very beautiful warm day, so we all went out on our front screened in porch. John, Rose, and I played some card game, while Geno read a Doc Savage book. Were weren't out there long before a moving van pulled up to the house next door.
We all looked up and watched as some guy in his mid 40's got out with two teenage boys and started unloading the van. Geno was disappointed. He'd been wanting some hot girl to move in there. In a flash all his, "mowing the yard on a hot day, and the sexy neighbor lady offering some cool lemonade" fantasies melted away.
John was staring intently at our new neighbor. "He looks real familiar doesn't he?"
I nodded and agreed with John. (Actually I didn't think so, but was just humoring him. Something I continue to do to this day.) Geno walked up and stared at the guy for a while. "You're right. I've seen that guy before." Again I nodded and agreed.
Then the two teenage boys carried something out of the van that told us without a doubt who this guy was.
It was a coffin.
"It's Dracula", I said.
Geno hit me on the back of the head. "No you idiot. It's Vinny. It's Vinny the Vampire." The was more then a little awe in his voice. John ran into the house and called Charlie and Joe and told them who was moving next door. Within a few minutes they were over at our house sitting on the front porch watching our new celebrity moving next door.
"Can I call George and tell him?", I asked John.
"No", John said.
"But you have two friends over. I'll tell Dad if you don't let me call him."
John looked conflicted. He clearly didn't want anyone else over, but I had him over a barrel.
"Ok. Everyone can have one friend over."
The one friend became two and soon the two friends became four. In short order everyone in the neighborhood was over at our house. The Draminski girls from across the street, as well as the Shinkevich girls (All 4 of them.) were in our house. The two Laskey boys were soon over with their cute as a button sister, Kathy. (I don't remember if Mark was over but I'm sure I at least called him if he was home.) We all looked at "Vinny", moving into the house. "Vinny", for his part looked nervously at the group of kids staring at him intently.
Geno thought that the party we were having, needed something to get it going. Charlie left and returned a very short while later with a case of beer. Soon the radio was turned up loud and music roared from our house. John tried to protest, but Geno told him that if he made Charlie leave with the beer he'd tell Dad what happened while he was gone. John looked around.
"I don't care. I want everyone to leave now before Dad comes home."
Dad came home.
Instead of pulling into the back into his garage like he normally did, he pulled into the front driveway. He did it to show off the station wagon he had just bought. Everyone froze when they saw Dad pull into the driveway. I swear even the DJ on the radio seemed to pause. Then the screen door to the porch flew open and all the kids began to pour out. Someone handed me a beer can. Like cockroaches hiding from the light they ran away from our house. Half empty can's of beer were thrown on the front lawn. (The only smart one was George who took out the back door. I don't even think he opened the fence gate. It looked like he just jumped it.) Charlie tripped as he ran with the case of beer and not wanting to risk my Dad's wrath left it were it lay.
Dad walked up to the house with a shocked expression I rarely saw him have. Shock soon turned to anger as he walked into the front porch.
"What the HELL are you doing here!"
I thought I'd try to point out that it wasn't as bad as it could have been. "I'm not bleeding or anything. They made sure I was ok!"
Dad looked at me to yell at me. When he saw me it looked like his eyes were going to pop out. "ARE YOU DRINKING? " He looked at John and Geno. "YOU'RE GIVING HIM DRINKS? ARE YOU INSANE?" This was a level of angry we had rarely seen in Dad. Geno as usual was the first to rat John out.
"He was in charge! He kept saying it was ok. He called Charlie up and told him to bring the beer!"
Never one to stay quiet I started crying." They made me drink. I didn't want to but John made me!"
Rose (who it turns out really was drinking.) started in. "They told me if I didn't drink I wouldn't be cool. I told them Daddy wouldn't want me too. Geno tried to stop John but he was out of control!"
We had just sacrificed John to the angry God that was our Father.
"They're lying!" What's funny is John was actually shocked we were giving him up.
"Did I leave you in charge?"
"Yes Dad", John said meekly.
"Did I tell you not to have any of your stupid friends over while I was gone?"
"Yes Dad", John said even more quietly.
"IS THAT YOUR LITTLE BROTHER WITH A BEER CAN IN HIS HAND?" I raised the beer can as if to toast John. A sad little half smile was on my face.
John just looked at the floor and nodded. Tears were coming out of his eyes.
John was grounded for a month. Charlie and Joe were not allowed over to play Risk until after that. John also had to mow the yard with the push mower for the rest of the day. While John was doing that the rest of us cleaned up the front porch. At one point Dad came out to see how we were doing and exclaimed, "Hey isn't that Vinny the Vampire?"
John was never again put in charge of watching us. Which is good. Because after that I don't think he wanted the responsibility.

He's Still Here

Sorry I haven't posted much this week (at all), but I've been dealing with John's presence here. John is always easy to deal with as an abstract these days. Seeing him triggers something in me that I don't like very much. So for the days he's around I kind of retreat into myself a little.
Honestly if it was just the events of 17 years ago I'd be over it by now. People have done bad things to me since then, some almost as bad. John's problem is everytime I relax or let my guard down he says something insanely stupid that just pisses me off all over again.
Example; Years ago when Ethan was almost 3, John came home for a couple of weeks on leave. On one of those nights I (stupidly) invited him over to watch a movie. Angie was in the other room doing a puzzle or something leaving just me and John to watch the movie with my son Ethan sitting on my lap.
John always makes a big deal about his snacks during a movie. He has to have just the right popcorn and candy. Before the movie started he went out and got his candy, which he then poured into a glass bowl I had. Ethan was acting goofy, showing for John while he popped the popcorn.
At one point during the movie Ethan grabbed a large handful of candy and took a bite out of it. Some went into his mouth some fell on the floor, and some fell back into the candy dish. Ethan then reached into the candy bowl again to take another bite. John stared at the bowl a moment then pushed it away from himself. When Ethan reached into the popcorn bowl John again pushed away the bowl and refused to eat anymore.
The next day John took me for a ride and in short order began ask me if maybe it wouldn't be a good idea to whip Ethan more. Maybe I'd be a better parent if I would beat him a little.
"Think about it", he said. "How good would he do in a class room right now?"
"Not very good", I said, "Considering he's only 2 years old!"
"If he were my son I would have whipped him for grabbing the candy like that." He spent the next 6 minutes of the ride telling me what a horrible parent he thought I was. When he dropped me off he looked at me and said, "I'm glad we're close enough to share things like this."
I was so angry I couldn't speak. Another time he told me I should spank Isaac as well to make him behave.
The best was one time when he stopped by and my anger towards him was showing. I didn't say much too him before I left for work. My anger baffled him. I couldn't be angry at him because after all he was John and no one in their right mind would be angry with John. So after I had left he pulled my wife aside and asked her if I was beating her.
(The really ludicrous part of this is there is a universal agreement among my friends that my wife could kick my ass.)
"Are you out of your mind?". Angie asked.
"No really, you can trust me. I'm here to help you."
It would have served him right if Angie had beaten John for asking such a stupid question. (There is also universal agreement among my friends that Angie could kick John's ass as well."
So you see that's just a little reason why John brings out ugly emotions in me. There are many more things I could say but again this isn't about John it's about me.
I don't like the way I feel when I'm around him. Part of it is I still want to be the little brother to his big brother. Part of me wants to take him to a quiet spot in a cornfield and leave him for dead. Another wants to shake him and scream," Give me back my brother!"
I'm leaning towards the cornfield idea.
Now to be fair this time home, John said or did nothing too horrible. This could have something to do with the fact that I stayed away from him as much as possible.
Anyway he's leaving tomorrow, so give me a couple of days to detox from all the negative John feelings, and I'll be back to my funny self in no time.
I wish I could get rid of these feelings. They make me feel so out of control. Usually when I dislike someone I feel very little towards that person. I'm able to plot whatever revenge I take towards that person without losing control.
I wish I drank. Right now I'd get hammered.
Sometimes I envy Geno's anger management technique. He goes into a room, lights his bong and within minutes all is right with the world.
I'll leave you with the words of John's second and current wife. She's Korean so use an accent when you read it to make it sound like her. "John is a bad husband. John is a bad father. He's a bad son and brother. But he's a good soldier."

For The Love Of A Woman.
Ok.
I'm sorry for to anyone reading this and expecting a straight forward progression in the stories. As you can see I get easily sidetracked and distracted. I plan on going back to 1974 tomorrow or the next day. (It's getting harder to keep this up daily as you can see. So I'm thinking of cutting back to every other day or something like that.)
Angie wrecked her truck a week ago tonight and hopefully it will be repaired by next weekend or so. Also today my brother John came home for two weeks from Iraq.
I've avoided speaking of John and mine's current relation to each other for quite some time here. It's been easy to remember the "fond" old days. Hell, from 1977 till around 1986 John and I were very close. We liked the same movies,books, and music. We both loved Ali, and boxing, and were big into art. Most of my early opinions were shaped by John's views.
In the summer of 1986 I came back from Eastern Illinois University engaged to be married. I had in all honesty not done as well as I could have in my last semester there. My plan was to regroup, take classes at my local community college for a semester then go back to Eastern to be with Diane.
That summer John and his wife Peggy broke up. He needed to find a place to stay while the divorce went though. I came up with George's house.
George's family had moved to Arizona the weekend before I went to Eastern. All year it sat empty. I called and asked Georges mother if John could stay in the house until they sold it , as long as he paid the utilities. She said yes.
And then in a move of unprecedented stupidity I moved in with him. I thought this house could hold 15 people comfortably so just the two of us should be ok. Steve warned me not to but as usual I ignored my older brother's wisdom.
It soon became obvious that John and I would not be a good match. One night he came storming into my room screaming about a can of Tuna I ate. He said it was his food, and wanted to know what the hell I was doing eating it. I laughed and told him to calm down.
"It's just a can of Tuna man", I said. "I'll buy you another one."
John threw the can on the floor and said in a mocking voice,"Just a can of tuna!"
If I had been more suspicious of John I would have been more on guard. Unfortunately I had a blind spot for him and chalked it up to John having a bad reaction to his divorce with Peggy. As the summer melted into fall John's behavior was becoming increasingly unstable. Rumors began to spread that John was having an affair with his best friends wife.
No I said. If it was true I'd be first to know, because after all I lived with him.
The more I thought about it the more I began to suspect however. His behavior around Jackie was more like a boyfriend then anything else.
One night I came home from the bars around 2 in the morning. By the front door I found her purse and shoes. I began to notice them there more and more.
As a young man with few morals I had no objection to sleeping with a married woman. But one thing I couldn't abide was sleeping with a woman married to a friend. To me it was an inexcusable betrayal. Especially when said woman was ugly and sleazy. What's sad is I was almost the last to know. One night in early November I asked John to his face. I told him I'd saw her purse and shoes by the door in the middle of the night. "John", I asked,"Are you sleeping with your best friends wife?" John looked me in the face and told me the BIG LIE.
The BIG LIE is the biggest lie I've ever been told by someone who actually thought I'd buy it.
John looked at me and said, "No Tom. Mark knows I've been having trouble falling asleep so he asked Jackie if she'd come over and hold me until I slept. Sometimes it takes all night."
Like I said I was engaged at the time. So when John told me that an image of my best friend Mark passed though my mind. In my image he asked me if Diane could sleep with him until he fell asleep. I then imagined myself killing Mark and burying him in a shallow grave.
I lost a lot of respect for John that night. More from the lie then the actual affair. How stupid did he think I was?
I didn't have time to long ponder it because 3 days later Diane dumped me. I was at the time devastated. All I could think about was how to get her back.
The same day Diane dumped me, Jackie told John she was going to have a baby. John thought it was his. I overheard her crying downstairs when she told him. Later John came up and wanted to know what I had heard. He acted very strange. Unfortunately I was to wrapped in thoughts of Diane to think about it much. I told John I heard her crying and that was it.
He told me she was going to have a baby and was crying with joy. Even engrossed in my own drama I thought it was weird.
At home the only support I was getting was from my Mom. My Dad was being a real jerk, and John was acting strangely. When he found me crying he went into a fit. He told me he had enough of me crying and was going to teach me to be a real man. He told me he was going to clean up , then he was driving me to the Air Force recruiter.
"But John, you told me anyone who joined the army was a loser?"
John looked at me and said, "You're being a loser. Time to join!" John stormed upstairs and started to get ready.
"Well to hell with that", I thought. I packed a few things and split. To make a long story short I went to Diane's (She lived 3 hours away) and tried to win her back. Since I'm married to a wonderful woman named Angie you can see I failed.
While I was gone I made some calls and charged them to my phone at George's house. It was the phone John and I shared. When John got the bill he went though the roof. (It was 152 dollars.)
I was gone on my little journey for a month and a half staying with different friends, but eventually ending up at Mark's. Dad made it clear I wasn't welcome home, and John was acting like I had killed his dog or something. Umknown to me at the time, he told my family very vile things about me while I was gone. He even took my comics collection and sold them $300.
$300!
I had Spiderman #1 in that collection. And Hulk 181. And many many others.
$300. Sigh. Sometimes just to make myself feel bad I look at a priceguide.
Eventually I came home. Dad still made me feel like crap for basically having a nervous breakdown for getting dumped. It was only later I learned John was telling Mom and Dad I owed him over $2000 dollars in bills, and that I had been using drugs while I lived with him. (Anyone who knows me knows how ridiculous that is.)
My first night home John called me and shouted at me. "You don't have a brother anymore!", he screamed.
"What did you do to Steve and Geno?", I asked him.
"You know what I mean! I'm not you're brother anymore!"
"But Steve and Geno are ok?" John hung up.
I felt horrible. For months I felt I did something wrong. I was embarrassed everytime any family came over. Whenever John was there I had to go to another room. I was so ashamed in fact I never brought it up to my family. I wanted it to fade away. Only Steve made me feel like I had nothing to be ashamed about.
Then in late July of 1987 I saw Jackie with her baby. And in a flash it all hit me. (Usually I'm very quick to understand these things.) John wanted me join the military because he was afraid I would tell someone it was his baby. (The funny thing is one look was all it took to know it WASN'T his baby) I went to Mom and asked her what John was telling her I did. Mom told me about the more then $2000 dollars I owed him, and the drugs and other things so vile I won't repeat them here.
Everything he was doing was to discredit me from the family. He was so afraid I'd say something about him and Jackie it drove him nuts. At one point he rode a bike over to my parents house. He let the air out of the tires and told Mom and Dad I slashed his tires. Luckily I had a friend over who vouched for me. Later when Dad put air in the tire he could see it wasn't slashed. It was about this time my family finally began to suspect that maybe everything John told them wasn't true. (I imagine John letting the air out of his tires and laugh about it too this day.)
One time my Mom asked him what was going on, and he shouted at Mom, "What's Tom been telling you?"
"Is there something Tom knows?", Mom asked.
John cheated with his best friend's wife. He thought if he just drove me away that his secret would be safe. What's funny is I really was the one of the last to know. I was the only one who asked him however. Once I did all he wanted to do was hide his shameful little secret. Which meant get rid of me.
17 years later the wounds are still raw for me. Maybe it would be easier if sometime in the last 17 years he stopped acting like a jerk. What's sad is he really wouldn't understand he was acting like a jerk.
Now at first I wasn't going to say any of this. I really don't like to dwell to long on certain parts of my life. I also don't want this to be a ,"My brother is so bad " blog.
But when I saw him walk off that plane today, and watched everyone hug him and welcome him back, I felt nothing.
And it made me very sorry.
Sorry that we would never be close again. Sorry that he would never be the brother he once was. I wish I could be a bigger man and just let it all go.
But I can't.
Like I've said before, I plan on taking this blog, reediting it and turning into a "book" for my children to have. A life's history from where they come from. So I guess there should also be lessons they should learn.
That lesson is, be careful what you argue with you family about. Pick your fights carefully. Pick your words even more carefully. John and I lost each other over a woman who isn't even in his life anymore.
I hope one day Ethan and Isaac will read this and understand how important they are to each other. I hope they never find the fate that John and I found.
Brothers should always have each other.

I told you this would be underwhelming or Why God Hates Me (according to Mark )
Sometime in the fall or early winter of 1983 Mark and I were at Happy Joe's Pizza playing video games. We spent a lot of time up there wasting many quarters in Mark's attempt to master the game .Joust. A task may I say he accomplished with great success. Happy Joe's was the local arcade place at the time. It was run by a man named Al Hill. Al was the Mayor of Kewanee at the time. He looked liked one of those burgermiesters you'd see rallying the village locals to go burn down Dr. Frankenstein's castle in one of those old movies. (this has nothing to do with the story but I needed to say it anyway.)
Since we were two young men straight out of high school with nothing else to do we played video games untill the place closed. We walked out into the cold night to get into my car. (It was my first car. A 1978 tan Ford Thunderbird. If anyone has one laying around please buy it and ship it too me.) We got into the car and I put my key in the ignition. I turned it to start the car.
Nothing. Just a brief grinding noise. I tried it again. Nothing. Mark I'm sure had something funny to say. I began to get upset. I tried it again .
Still nothing.
I'm not sure how many times I tried it but my battery soon began to run down. I knew I was not going to have many more tries.
So being a young man with a melodramatic flair I opened my door stepped outside and shouted something like, " Here's my last quarter God! I give it to you and promise to never play another video game as long as I live if only you start my car!"
I threw the quarter with all my might. It landed somewhere on the roof of the Happy Joe building. I got back into my car and turned the key.
Again the long grinding noise. It slowly faded away as my battery drained down. Finally it stopped. I made a loud disgusted yell and let go of the key.
Suddenly my car started to life, with full power.
"Wow", I said.
"You know," Mark said, " He's going to hold you to that."
I looked at Mark confused. "Who?"
"God. You promised him."
"Oh Yeah."
I kept the promise until my next day at the local community college where I ended up playing Star Castle in between classes.
Mark has since then blamed my whole life on that promise.

and now Mark's view of that dreadful night. As told by Mark himself. (he originally posted this in the comments section but I thought it worth while for everyone to read.)


We were trying to start that car for at least a half hour or so, and that battery was completely drained. The engine was groaning the way engines do, trying to start, but there was not even a hint of a sputter, nothing to make us think it was actually catching. We were primarily just draining the battery.
We knew that the last attempt was our last attempt, that there wasn't enough juice to try again. Tom held the key until we thought it couldn't even make any noise again, then let go. Then, and you'll notice this is after Tom let go of the key and the battery was utterly drained, the car roared to life.
Obviously, God took pity on Tom and answered his plea. If we weren't so amazed and distracted by this event, I'm sure we would have seen a hand descend from the heavens to pick up the quarter that Tom sacrificed, and heard God say "Deal." (I'm convinced that's why most prayers aren't answered. There's no sacrifice to God).
Tom, momentarily overwhelmed, pretty quickly became underwhelmed when faced with the temptation of an actual video game.
You would think that God would forgive Tom. However, Tom is unrepentent and in fact tends to rub it in God's face by buying new video game consoles soon after they come out, and also stocking up on games for his 2 PC's.
So, for the time being, Tom fails to keep up his end of the bargain, and God continues to punish him for it. Some day Tom will repent and give all his video games to a worthy cause (me) and God will forgive and stop punishing Tom.

What you have to do is read this very carefully and you will see the truth. Mark and GOD are shaking me down. GOD apparently wants more quarters, and Mark wants my Video Games. I imagine GOD stopping by Mark's house wearing a trench coat and hat trying not to act like he's the SURPREME DIETY. They go to Mark's computer room and plot out my next several months of torture.
You see what I think happened that night is that after Mark and I left GOD went in to Happy Joe's and played a video game (Most likely Dig Dug) and got hooked on it. So he's been shaking me down ever since for more quarters.
But I will not yield. I will not be brought to me knees. I mean who does he think he is?
Mark will continue to get my old video game systems, AFTER I get the new video game systems, and GOD will get no more quarters from me.
I mean honestly, whats the worst he could do to me?

Wreck
Sunday as my wife was leaving town to go to work she hit a patch of ice and ended up wrecking the truck against a guard rail. I'll be busy with fighting the insurance adjuster and getting the thing repaired. Angie was ok just a little stiff from the accident.
I'm sure this will end up making a funny blog when everything is all said and done.'
Anyway I'll post when I can .

Hope everyone had a safe and fun holidays.


OK. This story will contain nudity, drinking, and more than a hint of "adult" issues. If you are offended by this I encourage you to read another blog.

New Years ...Delayed

During my third year of college, I transferred to Eastern Illinois University. It was the first time I had ever been away from home, and I was completely unprepared for it. My parents gave me almost no help at all. By going to college my Dad told me that I had abandoned the family. As a result I ended up belonging to a fraternity that while fun was absolutely the worst choice I could have made as far as my grades were concerned.
I had never drank a drop of alcohol in my life. All during high school I obeyed my father and stayed away from the stuff. I didn't think it was evil, or bad. I just thought it wasn't for me. When I went to Eastern I was 20 years old. I fully expected to go another 20 years without drinking as well.
During my first week at school while I was at a frat party I met a very good looking girl. She was so good looking in fact that I was speechless. When she asked me if I wanted to go back to her place and share a drink with her all I could do was nod. Drinking suddenly sounded like the greatest thing possible.
And so began a year of debauchery that I would have been shocked at only a year earlier. During my winter break it was painfully obvious to my Dad I had started drinking when I tilted my glass while pouring Pepsi to avoid any foam. Even though my relationship with my Dad was strained because of my leaving for school, while I was in his home I more or less respected his wishes and didn't drink.
New Years Eve 1985 was a very odd time. My sister asked Mark out for a date that night. (A request that I'm sure still leaves him awaking screaming in the middle of the night soaked in sweat) Mark wisely refused. For the actual night we went to a "party" at my brother's John's friends house. Once we were there we found out the party consisted of Mark and I, my brother John, John's friend Mark (Yes two Marks. If you can't keep up I'm going to ask you to stop reading) and Mark's wife Jackie. For most of the evening John stayed in the kitchen "talking" to Jackie. All in all it was a very weird evening, completly devoid of fun.
When I got back to school I found out that I was not the only one who had a disappointing New Year's Eve. It turned out that most of us were disappointed with it. One of my frat brother's Mike pointed out that there was a regional get together for our fraternity coming up. Maybe when we went to that we could all act like it was New Year's Eve.
Now generally we avoided meetings with other chapters of our fraternity. We were sure that if they had ever come into our house and saw how we lived we would all be booted out. But another frat brother, Jon pointed out that where the convention was going to be held had many strip bars not two blocks from the hotel we would be staying at. I had never been to one before and couldn't wait to go.
The Friday morning before we left, a fraternity alum named Jack showed up. It turned out he was getting some sort of award at the meeting and would be going with us.
This was the first time I had ever met Jack and I was amazed by how ...Feminine he was. He even called my shirt a blouse at one point. He was so over the top I actually thought he was joking. When I asked about it they told me that this was indeed how he had acted while in school. It turned out that while he was well liked, the main reason he was in the fraternity was to simply keep up the frats grade point average.
We drove down in two cars with Mike, Jon, and I riding in Jack's (very nice and very new) car. On the way down Jack told us that he had recently come into a great deal of money. It turned out that when he went to the dentist the dentist made a mistake and accidentally stopped Jack's heart. Long story short, Jack sued and won a bunch of money. He insisted on paying for everyone's food while we were with him. We all happily excepted his kind offer, and ate obscene amounts of food at Jack's expense.
Sadly for Jack, our fun at his expense and barely begun.
Once we checked in at our hotel rooms, (again at Jacks expense) we wasted no time looking for the strip bars. However first we had to go to a meeting where all the chapters attending on the opening night. While there it turned out that each chapter attending had to nominate one of their (attending) members as our King. We all thought it was a bit gay, but since Jack was with us we kept our mouths shut and chose Jon as our King. When Jon stood up to give his speech he simply said with a very fake British accent, "I don't want to King, I want to be Pope."
While there at the meeting it became very painfully obvious that while Jack may not have fit in at our chapter, he more than fit in with the chapters assembled there that evening.
Later back in our Hotel room we all got ready to go to the Strip Bars. As we were about to leave Jack came back and asked where we were headed. We told Jack and he wanted to come along.
"But Jack," Jon said," this really isn't your cup of tea. There will be drinking and loud music and other things." (Naked women)
Jack looked like he was about to cry. "But guys I never got to do this with you while I was in school, and who knows when I'll see you again?"
The idea of taking Jack along seemed to strike everyone like throwing water on a hot fire.
"Hey", said Jack brightening up, "I'll pay."
Well that made all the difference. We happily took Jack and his big fat billfold along.
Once we got there it seemed that maybe Jack liked girls after all. HIs eyes grew big and a smile spread over his face. As it turned out we only went to one Strip Club. The girls there were so happy with the money we were throwing around we had no desire whatsoever to leave. Thanks to Jack everyone was having a great time.
To everyone's dismay Jack started drinking. It seems Jack had made it though four years of college without touching a drop of booze, but once a pretty blonde sat on his lap without anything on Jack's drinking views were thrown out the window.
We went through all the money in Jack's billfold in a record amount of time. It was about that time that girls figured out that they liked other people more then us now.We were going to leave when once again Jack surprised us. He took his billfold, handed it to Mike and said in a very drunken voice, "Go take my ATM card and take out a $1000."
Mike laughed nervously. "Jack you can only take out 300 at a time with these things."
"Not mine." Jack looked like he was going to die of sheer happiness watching the current dancer on stage. Mike was only gone a few minutes when he came back with the money. Mike it turns out had gotten $1500 out. I looked over at him. Mike kept the extra 500 and stuffed it in his shirt pocket.
Once again the girls changed their minds and liked us again. It was about this time that Jack found out what happened if you put a 5 dollar bill in your mouth while a dancer was onstage. The girl would dance over towards him, kneel down on the stage and pull her g-string open for Jack to drop the money into. She would then grab his head and pull into her ample breast, (They all had ample breasts at this place) and slap his face with them. Jack found out they were even nicer when he put a $10 bill or a $20 bill in his mouth.
With the extra $500 Mike took he began asking the girls if one of them wanted to come back to our Hotel room with us. Mike got a very pretty blonde to agree to it. He gave her half the money at the bar with the promise of the other half and "tips" later. She got up on the stage and started to dance.
I was sitting next to Jack when Mike came over and told him, "You see that girl? She likes you so much she's coming back with us when we leave." Jack's inhumanly large smile grew. He took out 3 $20 bills. He gave one to me, and one to Jon on the other side of him. Jack stuck his in his mouth. Jon and I stuck ours in our pockets.
The hot blonde came over to Jack. Jack looked up at her smiling. She knelt down and with one hand pulled her G-string out and with the other pulled Jack's head towards her. Jack still had that stupid smile on his face.
He still had that smile when he projectile vomited all over that very pretty girl's G-string and all over her. She started screaming and fell back on the stage. Jack's head fell onto the stage with a loud thump. His face rest rested on his own vomit.He was still smiling even as a bit of puke oozed out of his mouth. Everyone was screaming now. Jon and I both stood up away from Jack.
Out of no where two very large black men with no hair and voices that sounded like thunder appeared and grabbed me and Jon by our shoulders. One said, "I think you gentlemen ought to leave now." Jon immediatly picked up Jack and threw him over his shoulder. Jack still had that wide smile on his face as we walked out the door. "Bye bye", he said before he vomited again. He left a little trail of puke behind him.
As I walked out the door I turned around and saw Mike still sitting by the stage. He held up the billfold and waved goodbye. Jon and I were both cursing him all the way back to the Hotel.
What little chance we had to win the King "award" went out the window as members of the nominating commitee saw us dragging Jack though the hallway of the Hotel, smelling like vomit. He still had that strange smile on his face. Between new bouts of vomit, he would laugh. Jack stayed in his room all day Saturday. He said he had a headache.
Once again Jack surprised when Sunday, as we drove back to school, he told us he had a really great time. He said he finally felt like one of the boys.
And it only cost him close to $4000.
After seeing the massive amounts of money Jack spent, I vowed I'd stay away from Strip Bars from then on. Those places were nothing but money traps.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Not a lot to say here today but I wanted to wish everyone a Good New Year.


Last Night all my family did was stay home together. Ethan and I watched the classic movie The Poseidon Adventure. (maybe classic isn't quite the right word.) Angie played Star Wars Galaxies upstairs while Isaac played near her with his toys. Later Ethan, Angie, and I all played monopoly till a little before midnight.
All in all a perfectly boring evening that I wouldn't trade for anything.
Except maybe a decent babysitter.
OK since you read this thing to get some sort of chuckle out of my sad and twisted life I'll leave you with this.
The best Christmas gift I ever received was when my girlfriend (Whom I was lucky enough to marry.) saved up all her money and bought me a huge beautiful very expensive hardbound book about the Titanic. (which with I've had more then a passing interest in since I was 14.) She gave up meals and many other things to get me that book. Thankfully it has survived both fires. It may smell a little smoky but I treasure it nonetheless.
The most ridiculous Christmas gift I have ever received was last year. Mom and Dad bought me the Michael Jordan cologne gift set. Now while that in it self is odd, it wasn't ridiculous until I looked inside the box. It came with soap, aftershave, body lotion, (So I can have the complete Michael Jordan experience), and of course the cologne .
It wasn't that stuff that made it ridiculous. It wasn't even that since mister Jordan is richer then God, he would never be caught dead wearing some cheap ass cologne that cost $19.95.
No what made that gift completely ridiculous was that it came with Michael Jordan Hair Gel.
Michael Jordan Hair gel?
I picture some staff meeting where everyone was rolling on the floor with laughter when the pitched that idea.
The only thing I can find more ridiculous than that is if someone would give me a book of matches as a house warming gift after the fire.